happy ending or just an ending..

Maybe some of us believed that it's better and sweeter the second time around. In some cases it is because you've learned from your faults and taking it where they both left it.

Some also have this mindset that if it didn't work the first time, then what makes you think it'll work out the second time.

It all depends on where the first one ended. If the reason is just fate why a couple parted then most probably it'll worth the second chance if time permits. Maybe that time they're too young or maybe they can't handle the distance.

Others will take a second shot even if the first time ended in a not so good manner. They believed that if the 'spark' is still there then it's worth the try. Maybe it'll still end up the same way as the first but a least they tried to end things better. They say that lightning doesn't strike on the same spot twice.

"Second chance doesn't always mean a happy ending. 

Sometimes, it's just another shot to end things better"

Moment to Memory ...

When everything is within our zone, we tend to neglect small details leading to something uncontrollable. They say we appreciate what we had when it's already gone.

Some people do appreciate and value what they have but they are too confident that they won't lose it. So they do things they think that's right and forget to respect the emotion of the other half. Little quarrels that you just ignore not knowing that it might be a big thing for her. Next thing you know things are out of your control. A hundred of broken piece is much dangerous than a single whole knife.

Also I know for a fact that some of us do appreciate what we've lost when we see them being valued by others. It'll make us think and miss things like holding her hand, talking to her and joking around. What hurts the most is when we see them doing what you planned on doing when she still in you arms.

 All those things that would make you wonder "what if" and wish for a "second chance".

Cherish every second. Don't wait for time to make your 'moment' a 'memory'. Appreciate what you have now before other's make you realize what you had.

Is LoVe sweeter the 2nd time around.?!

Just cross my mind that it’s nice to write something about some old cliché. 'Love is sweeter the second time around'. This is what I think of it.

It depends on how the first one ended. There are instances that the first didn't go well because of some factors. Maybe if the reason is just "not the right time" thing, then maybe it is sweeter the second time around.

It also depends on how long is the gap between the first one and the second. On how mature each person became since they parted.

Where the second time started is also a factor. If they'll start again from being friends or start it from where they took off.

I guess it'll be sweeter if both parties will get with each other again with the thought that the first one didn't went well because of some indifferences. It'll be nice if they are ready to face that anytime soon that maybe, just maybe, second one will be just the same as the first one.

The key is to learn from the first one. On what went wrong and what makes it special that it deserves another shot. For me a “chance is change". We are given a second chance to change what's needed to be change.

The most important thing is to take into consideration why you have that second chance. It has to have a reason. A very special something that you decided to leave all the worries of the past and start a new.

Are you a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime [by Ray Ilustre]

.. Lately I've been sharing friends' notes and entries. I just like to share how other people look at things and eventually open some eyes to the beauty of life and love.


One of Ray Ilustre's entries in her Multiply page talks about how you see yourself in a relationship with someone.


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..When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend and they are! They are there for a reason you need them to be. Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes, they die. Sometimes, they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer that you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

...Then people come into your life for a SEASON...because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season.

...LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

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Check out her Multiply Page here...

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Pushing Daisies...

Sometimes we want to do things without even thinking what will be its outcome. Often we decide on things without even doubting. Just like in science, everything we do there's always a exact and opposite reaction for it.


We say things to someone without even knowing how it would affect his day. Boys have these way of saying things to a girl without even reflecting if he can. Like he'd say he'll be there tomorrow even if in reality he can't be there till the end of the day.


When caught in a moment, we tend to do things or say something that would change a course of everything. Then later realized that what we did or said was just a burst of anger or pain. We can get lucky sometimes that we can make thing go back the way it is but like as clear as before.


Remember that we shouldn't regret everything that happened to us because for some point in time, those things are the one we ever hoped for.

No matter..

No matter how thin the slice is... there will always have two parts.

No matter how big the problem is there will always be a good thing. There is always be two sides of a story.
We often tell ourselves that everything happens for a reason. It will eventually makes us stronger in some way.

Sometimes we tend not to listen to explanation especially when we are mad. There are times when we regret on things because we never give someone a chance to tell their story. They may be wrong at times but we need to listen to their side of the story not to forgive them but to understand them.

Sometimes we need to have our hearts broken just to see what it's made of.

Accepting what is...

Nowadays, there are a lot of things that we encounter and experience that we don't know whether we can handle it.
A friend of mind once told me to just accept that thing and don't try to understand it. At first it seems like a difficult thing to do but eventually it manages to work on things.


Trying to accept anything that happen then move on is easy to say. Trying to understand what happened seems to be the difficult part.


In an instance of a break-up, understanding what happened is easy but accepting what just happened is difficult because you are in a stage of denying all things that you don't understand and trying to accept that it's over.


The technique of accepting things without understanding it will not be effective to everyone but it's sure that it'll make things a li'l less painful. We all know that loving and then losing someone is very hard and you need to understand what happened, but always remember that there's always a reason why it happened (somewhere in the middle things didn't go well). So from that stand point you just let it be and accept things as it is. It'll take time but everything will seem to fall into places after some time. Remember that the things that you don't know won't hurt you. So don't let yourself be in a point of knowing everything because it you might end up knowing things that's hard to accept.

One...

..loving someone means having to accept all the chapters of her past. Some people are too open about their past and they let you know so that you won't be in a awkward situation when circumstances occur. Stuff like letting you know about his/her ex. Stories of events in the past and everything or something about her past.

I'm not sure if this applies to everyone but i guess some can relate that there will always be "ONE" person or event or something from her that would make you so mad or jealous about.

If that "one" is a person; maybe her ex, her bestfriend or just a regular close friend. Deep in your heart you knew and feel that there's no more special between her and that someone but the moment you knew that she and that "one" saw each other or talk to each other, you feel a li'l something.

If that "one" is an event; maybe an event where she and that other person shared or experienced together. Everytime you hear or see that event (e.g. Concert) you feel a li'l something.

Im not sure if what you feel is jealousy or just plain insecurity but nevertheless it would make you think deeper and sigh a little. Maybe this is just one of those stuff where you knew that you trust and love her but sometimes the heart have its mind of its own.. .sometimes...

Time ...

.. one of the things we love to have is time.. lots of time. certain people sometimes need different kinds of time in a given day - quality time with a special someone, with family and alone. For me the best gift that you could give to someone that I think everyone sometimes forget to appreciate is TIME. Imagine giving someone part of your day.

When it comes to loving someone, you can always tell that you really love someone if you are willing to give time. Making sure that you have the best time with someone is not that of an effort. It doesn't matter if it's a minute or half a day as long as you get out of your way just to spend time to someone.

Giving time is also setting priorities. It loving is part of giving time then being with someone is getting out of your boundaries and setting your priorities right. Always remember that time spent is time wasted. A minute of holding back is a lifetime of regret.

a mirror has two faces...

In every problem there is always two side of a story.

No matter whose fault it is, we should listen to what they have to say. For example, you caught your boyfriend with another girl. Even if you're so mad, you should listen to why he did it. Give him the benefit of the doubt. There's always a reason why he did it. Maybe he found something with the new girl that you don't have. No matter how big his mistake is, you also have a problem. He won't do something bad if there is no problem with you. Don't wait for the time that you'll regret that you didn't listen to his side. Talk to him and listen. Any problem will be resolve if we'll just communicate. You don't what to have "what might have been" in your lifetime. So listen to what other's have to say because no matter how thin the slice is, there will always be two parts.

Who knows, you have the bigger part and you fail to listen.

the power of suggestion...

There are times that we can't have what we want, but oftentimes we can suggest and hope that we can have what we want. For example, if you want to eat something with someone, you ask a question but in that question is what you want to eat. "What are we going to eat? Burger?" You are asking but you're suggesting that you want to eat a burger, so the person you asked will agree with what you asked and go for the burger. Same goes to a place you want to go and things you want to do.

-- "Where are we going? Beach?"
-- "What are we going to do? Watch a movie?"

In other matters, if you tend to tell a girl about your past relationship. Like, your ex left you for some other guy. You are suggesting that there is something wrong with you. If you tell her that your past relationship is a nightmare because of this and that, you are suggesting that you're not that good with handling problems. It's good that you tell stories about your past but not to the point that you tell her all the bad stuff.

In courting, I believe it's better to tell stories on how you can do things if you're happy and inspired. Tell things that will suggest that if even a chance, you can make her happy. Stories like you're not afraid to 'meet the parents' because of your good intentions, that you're willing to do the things that she likes or want (but don't ask her what she likes/wants, just be observant). If you think girls like this kind of movies, then make stories that would make her feel that you're on the page. Girls wanna hear what they want to hear. In most cases the power of suggestion is effective, you just need to master the art of it.

Holding On & Letting go...

Let me start everything with a simple story..

Once there's a little girl who tried to climb up a tree. Due to the difficult way up, she slipped and hang on to a branch.. The girl is so afraid to let go because she doesn't know what will happen if she will let go. She doesn't want to experience the pain when she'll hit the ground. So the girl held on to the branch even though her hands were already shaking. Her arms are hurting because of the pain of holding on. The girl decided to let go and is willing to experience whatever is there for her when she hits the ground. When the girl hit the ground she cries for so long because of the pain but she felt good after the crying.

The point of the story is the agony of holding on and the relief of letting go. Some people are trying so hard to hold on to a relationship and will do anything to try to save it. Due to the effort of doing it, they will tend to hurt each other and will even hurt himself. If all hell breaks lose and one of them will decide to let go, definitely it'll hurt but not as much as the pain experienced when holding on to something that's not worthy. You'll cry but you'll be happy eventually because you've decided to take the dip.

Feel the pain and be happy...

it's hard to be friends with your Ex..

It's hard to be friends with your Ex. I know some people will not agree with this. For me, it's hard to be friends with your ex because of some factors. First, when your with contact with your past, one of you might think that there is a possibility of a second chance. One of you would assume that maybe the other half is giving it a chance to see if it would probably be sweeter the second time around. Second, because of the relationship that both of you had before, it's very hard to act normal when you're together. It's sometimes very hard for a boy to keep his hand to himself. He often will hold her hand or doing the things that he's used of. Like holding her face, her hair and some sweet things that he's doing before. And because the girl is comfortable of those things because of the past, the boy would probably think that it's alright to keep on doing those things. It would create a conflict if the boy would take to another level and the girl is just being nice.

Sometimes it's very nice to keep friends with your ex but it's not very healthy if one of you is still holding on. One of you can't move on because of the fact the every time you meet or talk, one of you would fall all over again.

Don't do things...

Don't do things that are not natural to you...

I guessed some boys do things that are not natural to them. For example, he would most likely fetch a girl everyday just to win her heart. He would wait for hours just to fetch her home. Some guys even do make little notes just to express his feelings. That is some of the things boys do even if they're not used to those things. The point is some boys do some peculiar things that are not natural to them just to make an expression. And when the time that they are already together, the boy would stop doing the things that the girl is used to. The boy would stop fetching her everyday because he had enough of it but the girl is used to it and expecting it everyday, and that's where the conflict begins. Girls are so emotional that little things do matter for them.

Cheaters...

Are cheaters born cheaters? Or do certain situations cause people to cheat? Probably a little bit of both.

In my opinion here are some situations that make people cheat:

Bored

I'd say this is the most common reason that people cheat. It's tough to keep that edge throughout a relationship. Things start off grand and then level off and then you both realize that it's still real life. You tend to do things for the sake of doing it. You'll text her good morning because you needed to not because you wanted to. When you meet someone else, that inaugural excitement of a new relationship kicks back in.

Confusion

Sometimes life or a particular situation can get to you. When the perfect storm of confusion is going on in your head, you make mistakes. If you're in a situation that you don't know what to do, just sit down and think about it. Don't make a move and make mistake after another mistake.

Nurturing

If someone is mistreating you, then your first instinct is to get away from him or her. But sometimes it's not that simple-maybe you are raising kids together. If you feel trapped in a bad relationship, it's only natural that you will run to the open arms of a person who treats you well. You'll look for someone who'd take care of you that way you wanted to be.

Revenge

This is quite simple- an eye for an eye. Cheat on them if they cheat on you. If they continuously hurt you or abuse you in some way, you do it to get them back.

Dependence

At first glance, cheating seems like independent behavior. It could be interpreted as doing what you want, when you want. But cheating is a dependent behavior. A cheater is dependent because they are not strong enough to break up with their significant other in order to get with the new person.

Because They Let You

If any girl ever cheated on me, I'd break up with her immediately. Forgiving a cheater is putting up with it, and starts a vicious cycle. That person who cheated may lose respect for you and might continue to cheat-because they know they can get away with it, because you'll continue to take them back.

Confirmation of Attractiveness

Sometimes when you're in a long relationship, or if your significant other is taking you for granted, you begin to wonder if you're still attractive. Perhaps, because you were out on the dating circuit, you felt more attractive when you were single. If you have an affair, you've proven that a new person can be attracted to you.

The Thrill

Some people just enjoy the thrill of cheating: running around secretly, risking getting caught, and creating thrilling moments with a forbidden romance.

They Don't Consider It Cheating, Even Though You Might

Relationships have that gray area, usually right before you become exclusive. He thinks date #4 is when you're "together," and you think date #2 is when you're "together." If you haven't talked about exclusivity, someone may think they are well within their rights to see other people, even though the other person in the relationship may not.

Is it natural to have temptation, or is temptation a sign that the relationship is losing its fire? What reasons would you add to this list, and do you disagree with any? If you've ever cheated, why did you do it? Could you forgive a cheater? If you are single, but seeing a person who is in a committed relationship, does that make you a cheater?

pride...

sometimes it helps to show that your weak…

it helps when you show or tell a person that you need and love them once in a while…

love is a painful risk… sometimes you end up with the wrong decision but it feels good that even the result is bad, you know deep inside that you did your best and never held back on your feelings because of your pride…
It's better to lose our pride to the one we love rather than losing the one we love because of our stupid pride...

all or nothing...

People are so judgemental… they tend to judged other people about the way they move and act towards someone.. sometimes we do things because it’s a nice feeling and we find happiness in it.. but we cant stop other people to judge what they see.. we know that sometimes we do things even if we are aware that others think of it as wrong…

Just always learn from our mistakes… friends are there to help even in their most peculiar way.. As always… Impossible it may seems in most cases but God has his reason why he put our Mind above our Heart.. Maybe it’s because he wants us to think what we feel.. bear in mind that there’s always time for everything.. just don’t let go of our dream.. it helps us to move forward.. dont forget to thank someone even if hshe cause you pain.. because sometimes you made others stronger by breaking their heart.

a rose is a rose is a rose…. but a rose will never be a rose without the thorns…

people change...

"you can’t afford to have new friends in the expense of the old once…"

people tend to say something just to make someone feel good.. there are times that it is good but you have to bear in mind the it’s the feeling of the person your playing.. sometimes you have to say what he must know for her to grow and know that she is wrong about something… Time change and so are we….

fools rush in..

This one is an entry in my friendster blog way back 2006.

don’t go into a relationship for the sake of… sometimes we misinterpret the feeling because of constant contacts.. you will know if you love somebody if you give time.. for time can never be return to you.. even if everything seems to be going the right way, you will know if you love someone if she is always there is good times and in bad… let it be.. don’t make yourself fall in love with a person just because you like her… everything happens for a reason..

don't rush into fallin’ in love, for love never runs out! even if they mock you cause your single…

boys & girls

Boys can manage to make a girl fall in love even if she has no idea what he looks like. . Boys will tell girls what they want to hear. Some boys can manage to tell a girl that she'll always be there for here even if he can't. Tell her things that we know can make her bones shiver . Tell her that you're thinking of her from the think you woke up till you've closed your eyes. Even some corny lines might work depending on how and when it's delivered. Some girls fall in love even with their eyes shut.

Girls always make it a point to look good. Some boys will definitely go for good looks that a great attitude. If a friend will tell you that he'll be introducing you a girl friend, often that not, your first question is about her physical aspects. If a boy has a textmate or a phonepal, he'll be very eager to meet her just not to waste time. A tight curve is more attractive than a 180 IQ. A killer smile is very hard to resist than a girl that is willing to wash your clothes.

Boys fall in love with their eyes while girls fall with their ears.

why does it always be a mixture?!

Maybe some of always ask this question.. Why?!

Why does it always be a mixture of emotion every time..? When we're in love, we feel happy but afraid... Happy that finally someone is always there for us but afraid that it will not last that long. When we graduated from college we felt fulfilled but uncertain. Fulfilled because finally we've finished studying but uncertain because we don't know what is there for us in the open.

Maybe that is the irony of life. It's always be a mixture to make us think of things and make the best of everything. We feel happy in a way but afraid in many ways. Maybe it's a way to make an effort in our relationship to keep it happy. Thinking of that happiness won't last long will eventually make us do the best of each moment.

So the next time you feel the mixture, make the best of the better feeling because there's nothing you can do about it. We might not notice but maybe there is always a rainbow during the rain.

moving on...

Moving on from an unwanted relationship maybe is one of the hardest thing we can experience in a lifetime. We can live with the thought of losing someone but definitely it'll take time. They same that we must not give everything in every relationship so that you can easily move on if ever it wouldn't work out right. I guessed this thought of not giving everything in a relationship is unfair. If ever you just gave your 50% in a relationship, wouldn't it be unfair thinking that the other half might gave her all?! Would it be the reason why the relationship didn't turn right because you're holding back?

When you love, love like you're not been hurt before. Make time like there's no tomorrow. And if ever you gave everything and still it didn't work like you expected it, then at least it's easier for you to think that you gave your 100%. And from your broken pieces of your heart you'll take the leverage to move on. At least when you're alone and think of the memories, it's easier to think that maybe it's her fault because you knew for a fact that you've given you're 100%. It's alright to cry you heart out because it will help a lot especially if your friend is just listening [no advise to give?!]. Advices are not helpful when you're venting out because it will make you confuse.

You don't need to get over her just to move on. Getting through the day without the toughs of him, smiling whenever you passed by a memory, not reacting every time you hear her name, finding time to appreciate what other people are doing for you. I guess these are few of the things you can say that you're in the process of moving on..

Make every moment an opportunity to move on. If someone will invite you to go out, then go out with her. It doesn't mean that you'll end up with him. At least with that thought, you're trying to be happy.

It's not easy to move on especially when almost everything will remind you of her. Just think of the thought that she might not be crying her heart out, maybe she is out with someone. Always bear in mind that maybe you're not her everything like what she is to you.

But then again at the end of the day, TIME can heal of all wounds. Even if you're invincible or just an emotional fool.

"what if?" vs. "what is.."

Basically we have this very very simple questions in our mind but will even take a lifetime to answer it.

"What if?" -- When we do something that involves our decision is an instant we leave this question at the back of our mind... Choosing someone over the other.. Making this instead of that.. Going here and not there.. Almost all decisions we make will leave us with this question..

Some people will tell us to think everything a million times before making a move.. Even if you'll take a lifetime to think of over things, the question will always be there.

"What is.." -- I guess this phrase will make us feel good. We choose to do "what is..." good for us, "what is.." happiness, "what is.." there for me, etc etc etc...

Others will always remind us of always everything "what is...". To stop pretending that we know love but to feel "what is.." love. To stop living in a fantasy and start living "what is..." life.

Maybe the big difference of the two is how you treat them in every event. If you choose something over the other and you think what will the other will fell, then obviously you'll be bothered by the thought of "WHAT IF?" But if you will think "WHAT IS.." good for that other person, then you're being honest to yourself.

Beautifully Imperfect.

Today is good Friday and I open my facebook account, Sir Dexter Gabica posted a video with a wife talking in her husband funeral mass.

She started her message by telling the people that she will not say praise to her husband because lots of it was already been said by other friends, instead she reminisced about the sound of his snoring in the morning. On how her husband even was bothered by his own noise.

The message of the video simply implies that at the end of the day it's not the great things he/she did that you remember the most. It's the little things that would make you close your eyes and smile. At the end of the road you won't smile at the thought that he/she moved a mountain but it's the peculiar things that made him/her moved that mountain.

You can't even imagine the things you'd give up just to hear that snoring again, those little imperfection that make it perfect for you. It's the indifference's that would make us ask for more.

Hoping this Good Friday we won't forget to appreciate our beautifully imperfect someone...

just the thought of fallin'...

Falling in love maybe is the best feeling we can experience.. being in that state can generate a lot of good and bad feeling. If you're a boy and you're still courting, the feeling of excitement and anticipation is there. When you admire someone, the feeling of contentment is there.

you can feel also everything, even something you cant explain. Maybe the feeling that we can associate being in love is being happy. Some people are not afraid to love but they are afraid to be happy. They know that love is always there but being happy is just temporary. When you love, you always make sure that the other half is happier than you. When things go wrong and you're not happy anymore, you blaim love for it. Being happy is just a temporary feeling when we love.

Just keep in mind that when being in love is being flexible. You encounter things you wont expect and feel things you won't even imagine. If you think that loving makes us happy then you're wrong. Loving makes us strong and weak at the same time.

Only love gives us a good feeling when we cry and only love knows why. So don't fall in love because you're happy but fall in love because you're ready. Ready to do things you don't like, go places you're scared of, eat food you don't love, make a rainbow before the rain.

Be careful of the thought that you're falling in love because you won't understand every little thing you feel until it's over.

the oNe that got away!

Everyone of us believe that even if we are with the one we love right now there's always a someone that got away. It's not because you have the right love on a wrong time but it's because part of you is not ready yet.
She might be everything that you ever wanted during that time but the problem is you're not ready to commit. She's almost perfect but you're too scared to hurt her or hurt yourself.

And when the time is right and you're ready for anything, that someone got away. You might be with someone whom you are very very happy but part of you will always be asking the biggest question.."What if?"

What if that time you're ready?
What if right now that i'm ready i'm still with her?
What if that time i'm ready but i'm just to scared to commit?

Every lifetime there is always someone that got away....

welcome...

My name is Erik John... I'll be posting nonsense from here on..